So i havent posted anything for a while, but not because ive failed but because ive been super busy. I mean the life of a college student is ridiculously stressful and so having sex would probably help relieve some stress, but that wont be happening for another 993 days or so. But back to my week, it has been full of temptation and i was close to breaking it, but i didnt since God( if there is one) decided to sent me a gift which was actually the reason why nothing happen. So yeah maybe i cant give myself credit for this one, but the point is that i didnt have sex and thats all that matters, so perhaps next time God wont have to intervene. Yet ive come to realize this past week that in order for me to make it through im gonna have to stay away from people , well not all people, but certainly people who i’ve had sex with in the past since as the saying goes “donde hubo fuego cenizas quedan”. This leads me to think whether you could genuinely be friends with someone who you’ve had feelings for since i was talking about this with a friend recently and we were saying how our friendship is so weird, and awkward since we were once romantically involved. I mean if you are with someone, it is probably cuz you either enjoy each other or have things that bring you together, which would lead you to think that it is the perfect cisrcumstance for a friendship, yet for some reason it is so difficult to actually do it. I wonder why that is. In my case i think it is because this “friendship” is just complex since at least on my part i still have strong feelings for this person and so it is difficult to be a genuine friend, although i do care for her genuinely, because there is tension and a physical attraction. And maybe this is also a relationship i need to cut out of my life, although if i do it will not be for my celibacy’s sake since the type of relatioship we have is strangely non-sexual (at least i think is not) lol